Dating Apps: Better Than Offline? Or Just a Waste of Time?

Swipe left, Super Like, send a rose. Many of us are familiar with these terms. Dating apps are more popular than ever, especially since the pandemic. Tinder reported that its busiest year was 2020, and Hinge tripled its revenue from 2019-2020 (Jamal, 2021). Dating apps give us access to a large pool of people that we might not otherwise be able to meet. Whether you’re looking for a casual hookup, a new friend, or a relationship, apps like Tinder, Bumble, Hinge, and Grindr are becoming the increasingly common answer. With all the benefits, why isn’t everyone on dating apps? Well, it turns out that some things might be too good to be true. For some people, dating apps can be frustrating as they feel that everyone is looking for a casual hookup, and there is research demonstrating that individuals on dating apps are more likely to partake in risky sexual behaviours. So, are dating apps the solution to modern day dating, or part of the problem? Let’s dive into it. 

Should we swipe right?

Having casual sex is becoming increasingly more common and accepted, especially among young adults, and dating apps make it possible to have and find many sexual partners. If that’s not what you’re looking for, dating apps are also great for initiating new and potentially long-term relationships (Sutton & Blair, 2020). Regardless of your purpose for being on a dating app, the ease and efficiency of these apps mean that people can expand their dating options beyond their traditional social circles (Anderson et al., 2020) and allow those who are geographically isolated to find partners (Choi et al., 2016). This can be especially beneficial if an individual doesn’t feel comfortable establishing a casual sexual relationship within their community, or if one would like to engage in specific sexual practices outside of the cultural norms of their community (Choi et al., 2016). Unlike other dating sites, dating apps allow for constant access to others (as we are apparently unable to go anywhere without our phones!) and access to people close in geographical location, and they usually have no subscription fees. They provide a non-intimidating and flexible way to commence communication with others and often require less time and effort than traditional methods of dating (Castro & Barrada, 2020). Additionally, dating apps allow users to evaluate potential partners before agreeing to meet them in person, which can streamline and increase the ease of dating (Anderson et al., 2020). People also tend to be more comfortable talking about sex in an online environment (Choi et al., 2016), so dating apps can potentially enable individuals to express their sexuality more genuinely (Zervoulis et al., 2020).

Contrary to common belief, casual sex does not seem to be a primary motivator for joining a dating app. There seems to be multiple reasons for joining, and in fact, studies have found that for up to 70% of individuals, sex-seeking is not their primary goal (Castro & Barrada, 2020). About half of adults aged 18-29 (both heterosexual and members of the LGBTQ+ community) have reported using dating apps, and 20% of these users have married or been in some form of committed relationships with someone they first met through these platforms (Anderson et al., 2020). Moreover, half of individuals in the United States believe that relationships in which couples meet through dating apps are just as successful as those that begin in person (Anderson et al., 2020).

As demonstrated by the fact that members of the LGBTQ+ community are two times more likely to join dating apps (Anderson et al., 2020), these apps facilitate partner-seeking for marginalized groups (Castro & Barrada, 2020). This is the case for several reasons. For starters, not only is there a smaller proportion of individuals who identify as LGBTQ+, but sexual minority identity is not always obvious, thus making encountering LGBTQ+ individuals in public difficult. Dating apps are therefore the easiest way to meet and identify individuals that are part of the LGBTQ+ community (Leskin, 2020). Safety is another factor. Hate crimes and prejudice towards the LGBTQ+ community are still prevalent, so a lack of acceptance and fear of violence can make it challenging for members to meet in person (Leskin, 2020). Dating apps can also be a safe space for “closeted” individuals to gain anonymous access to community, and can empower individuals to behave more genuinely, thus having a positive effect on self-acceptance and the facilitation of identity processes and interpersonal relationships (Zervoulis et al., 2020). Dating apps are therefore an easy and efficient way for all individuals to meet new people.

Maybe we should swipe left:

Although dating apps can provide great opportunities for many, they aren’t all good. Studies have found that overall, dating app users tend to be more sexually active and more willing to take risks. There seems to be a higher prevalence of sexually transmitted infections (STIs), unsafe sex, and unplanned pregnancies amongst users of all sexual/affectional orientations. Users are also more likely to have at least one self-reported prior diagnosis of STIs (Choi et al., 2016). A study done by Choi and colleagues demonstrated that dating apps are associated with more sexual partners, more unprotected sex, and increased likelihood of inconsistent condom use (Choi et al., 2016). While this might be the case, other studies have found that users also engage in more prevention measures like treatment and testing than those who are not on dating apps, and not all studies have demonstrated that users are less likely to use condoms (Castro & Barrada, 2020). Thus, further studies must be done to draw more accurate conclusions. It is, however, consistently the case that individuals on dating apps have more sexual partners, and this is a risk factor for STIs, recreational drug use, alcohol consumption, and unplanned pregnancies (Choi et al., 2016).

Some users that are looking to form more long-lasting relationships might find dating apps frustrating, as the hasty way that people tend to act on these apps is discordant with cultural norms and how people typically form relationships (Castro & Barrada, 2020). Dating apps also tend to focus on appearance and physical attractiveness, leading to negative outcomes. Due to the shallow nature of the apps, some individuals believe that they facilitate superficial relationships rather than meaningful ones (Anderson et al., 2020). Additionally, the emphasis placed on physical appearance can promote excessive concerns about body image which can lead to unhealthy weight management behaviours and high shame about one’s body. Moreover, some people report dissatisfaction with their relationships formed on dating apps as they become overly sexual quickly and progress faster than they would expect it to offline (Zervoulis et al., 2020).

Beyond relationship dissatisfaction, dating apps can have some other serious consequences. Some find that dating apps can pose risks with security and privacy, leading to fears related to the availability of one’s personal information and location (especially for women) (Castro & Barrada, 2020). They can also become avenues for harassing behaviour such as receiving unsolicited explicit messages/images and the continued contact after one has expressed disinterest (Anderson et al., 2020). Many people also believe that it is common for people to be dishonest and misrepresent themselves either by creating scam accounts, or by lying to appear more desirable, which can leave people feeling frustrated and discouraged (Anderson et al., 2020).

So Which Direction Should We Swipe?

Ultimately, dating apps not only provide a less intimidating and easier route to dating and meeting new people, but they can also be a place where one can find community and self-acceptance. However, like any social media, dating apps are good in moderation, as too much investment or time spent on swiping is associated with low psychological and social well-being (Zervoulis et at., 2020). So, should you use dating apps? As long as boundaries are set, and your motivations are clear to yourself and others, dating apps can be great. As research shows, people are on dating apps for a multitude of reasons, so with time, you will likely find someone for you. The negative effects of dating apps seem to manifest when we treat dating online differently from offline, so remember to be genuine, communicate well, and pace the relationship appropriately.

Ashley Kim (she/her)
Life Sciences Major (BSc) and Concurrent Education (BEd)/ Fourth Year
Queen's University

References:

Anderson, M., Vogels, E. A., & Turner, E. (2020, October 02). The Virtues and Downsides of Online Dating. Retrieved November 1, 2021, from https://www.pewresearch.org/internet/2020/02/06/the-virtues-and-downsides-of-online-dating/

Castro, Á., & Barrada, J. R. (2020). Dating Apps and Their Sociodemographic and Psychosocial Correlates: A Systematic Review. International Journal of Environmental Research and Public Health, 17(18), 6500. MDPI AG. Retrieved from http://dx.doi.org/10.3390/ijerph17186500

Choi, E. P., Wong, J. Y., Lo, H. H., Wong, W., Chio, J. H., & Fong, D. Y. (2016). The Impacts of Using Smartphone Dating Applications on Sexual Risk Behaviours in College Students in Hong Kong. PloS one, 11(11), e0165394. https://doi.org/10.1371/journal.pone.0165394

Jamal, U. (2021, August 03). Dating changed during the pandemic; apps are following suit. Retrieved November 1, 2021, from https://www.ctvnews.ca/lifestyle/dating-changed-during-the-pandemic-apps-are-following-suit-1.5532321

Leskin, P. (2020, February 06). LGBTQ adults are using dating apps nearly twice as much as straight adults, Pew study finds. Retrieved November 1, 2021, from https://www.businessinsider.com/dating-apps-use-lgbtq-community-twice-as-much-straight-adults-2020-2

Sutton, K.S. & Blair, K.L. (2020). Perspectives in sexuality. In C. F. Pukall (Ed.), Human Sexuality: A contemporary introduction (pp. 3-25). Oxford University Press.

Zervoulis, K., Smith, D. S., Reed, R., & Dinos, S. (2020). Use of ‘gay dating apps’ and its relationship with individual well-being and sense of community in men who have sex with men. Psychology & Sexuality, 11(1-2), 88-102.