How is physical distancing due to COVID-19 shaping our sexual and intimate lives?
/We happen to be living in an unprecedented time due to COVID-19 and the resulting physical distancing guidelines in order to “flatten the curve” and keep ourselves—and others—safe from this novel virus. Some of the effects of physical distancing can already be seen on a large scale. Take the (mostly negative) effects on the economy, for example. But not all of the impact is negative—just think about the positive environmental effects of having less cars on the road. Although no one can really predict with absolute certainty what large- or small-scale changes will occur in the longer-term future, it is pretty certain that some of these impending changes will be unanticipated—and hopefully, generally positive (we are being optimistic!). Our fingers are crossed…
In SexLab, we are interested in examining the effects of physical distancing on a smaller but important (to us, and hopefully to many of you!) scale: sexuality and relationships. We have heard so many stories from people having to make hard decisions about with whom to self-isolate, and some of these (so far) have happy—and some have not-so-happy—narratives. Some people are becoming uber creative with their sole partner in terms of carving out priority time to keep their “flame” stoked, whereas others in monogamous relationships report feeling like sex and intimacy are not a priority because their energy is being used to “get by” and “survive” each day. Indeed, the effects of physical distancing can amplify vulnerabilities and disparities for many people. Even those who are not “just getting by” may feel an immense weight of having to play multiple roles each day, all day long, with homeschooling kids, preparing meals, fitting their remote work in somehow, etc. to the point that “alone time” is even more rare than it was pre-physical distancing. Many of these people are not even sure what desire for sex, or intimacy, is any more. On the other hand, some people in long-distance relationships have been engaging in imaginative, remote scenarios in order to make up for the lack of possible in-person time together. Everyone seems to be dealing with their sexuality within physical isolation in different ways, and these ways may change over time and shape what our sexuality looks like post-physical distancing.
In addition, some people have been struggling with how to renegotiate their sexuality in many ways. For some people whose sexuality was framed (in the pre-COVID era) largely on casual sex with multiple partners—or even within consensually non-monogamous relationships in which partners do not share a household—adaptations may need to be made in this new world where monogamy seems to be the “safest” choice and guidelines are stating that the safest sex to have is with yourself or someone in your household. Indeed, all of the supporting structures for meeting potential partners are closed, “hooking up” seems to be almost impossible these days, and visiting others—even important others—is discouraged.
How are people faring in terms of their adjustment (or resistance) to the physical distancing guidelines? What factors predict how satisfied people are with their sexuality? Has masturbation become a key activity and how does pornography play into our sexuality these days? How are people renegotiating their sexuality? We have launched a study to examine all of these, and other, questions. It involves answering numerous questions about sexuality, masturbation, pornography use, and COVID over time. Please check out this link for this survey and help us gain crucial information about the effects of a pandemic on sexuality.
Dr. Caroline Pukall, PhD.
SexLab Director